How to Feel at Home Anywhere: What I Learned Studying Abroad

A few months ago, a friend shared with me his anxiety about moving to another state for school. He was thrilled to attend his dream university but also afraid of not fitting in, of being far from everything familiar and feeling lonely. Since I’ve lived far from home several times, he asked for my advice. My name is Marine. I’m a full-time student at Santa Barbara City College, and I’m from France.

On a trip to New York with a friend that I met by simply asking for a pen.

I was 15 when I made my first bold move, spending two weeks at a summer camp in England, despite the fact that I barely spoke English. It was both intimidating and transformative. At 17, I crossed the Atlantic to spend a semester in the beautiful city of Quebec, Canada, and at 20, I lived in New York City for a while, a place I adored but where I felt profoundly lonely. Each experience taught me something new, and by the time I moved to Santa Barbara last year, 5,500 miles from my quiet French village, I felt ready to build a new home.

The best advice I could give him was simple: wherever you are, home is found in the people you surround yourself with.

In New York, I let my fear that others wouldn’t understand my imperfect English fluster me. Because of that, I closed myself off and only made one friend. She remains my best memory from that time, which says a lot: people are what give a soul to a place.

I wish I had ignored my fears and simply sparked more conversations. I missed plenty of opportunities to introduce myself to students who inspired me, or to anyone even just for the sake of connection. It’s never easy to approach people, but I learned to remind myself that talking to someone new is a compliment, it means you see value in them. And if someone responds without kindness, they probably aren’t someone you need in your circle anyway.

Overheard these guys talk about a challenge I experienced, dared to jump in to offer some advice, and now we hang out and go on hikes together.

The best friendships I’ve made, no matter where I was—let it be France, Canada, or California—all began with small moments: asking for a pen, offering help, walking together to the grocery store, giving a compliment, saying hi on the bus, or inviting them to an event.

If you’re planning on studying abroad, chances are that you are curious. Let that curiosity guide you. It will help you lead conversations, connect with people, make lifelong memories, and build confidence for future adventures.

People will always be the most important part of any chapter in your life. The ability to build rapport, to connect genuinely with others, is the most valuable skill you can have. And the best part is, you can practice it every day.

All it takes is five seconds of courage to say hello. Start small: at the supermarket, the gym, a coffeeshop, or in class. Take a chance on your ability to make a friend, but also give yourself the chance to become one.

You got this.